Steps

With every step I take
The pain persists
The people around me
Are unconscious fists

The nightmares I endure
Have become real
It’s time that we
Help to heal

And I’ll never be the same
But at least the fleeting despair
Has put me through the shame
That I am ready to dare
To live

I bear the pain and the things I carry
Take it day by day
With candid response
I’ll go my own way

I’m ready to live
I’m ready to fight
I’m ready to be in the world tonight

And the distance we share
Has brought through it all
Existence
Existence
Existence
We are all still in existence.

Impossible Reality

I saw her sitting there
Breathing
In life
Her smell
Whoosh
A simple glance
I knew
Three words
Would do it
I love you

All things cease
She enters the room
Bright lights of mine
Deeper than beauty
It flows
It flows
It flows
Like a waterfall
Our conversation
I won’t confuse
Love and lust
And to abstain
The grain
I promise




You seem kind of familiar

A Painful Birth

Where were you when the lights turned out?
Where were you when the walls burned down?
Where were you when I had my doubts?
You were always out of town





And I will not see this through
I’ll never be a part of you






Is this what our fathers dreamed of?
Dedicate their lives
Is this what are mothers screamed for?
It seems the pain
Meant nothing.



Rip the joy out of my heart
Sell it for pennies



This is the decline once again
The ink sinks deep into my skin
And so I scream:

The pain goes on
But life moves on
The pain goes on
Stop.




Welcome to America.

Vacation

The ignorance is belligerent
Get me out of here.
Like being in an oven on 700 hundred degrees

Rightfully so, you’ll claim your possessions
Including my mind
I need some freedom of thought
You want me to be your sculpture

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

And if it wasn’t so hot
Things wouldn’t change
Punch myself in the face
I have no range

You need the limelight
To show me what you need
Ignorance goes beyond mankind

I had a thought of a new life
A life without strife
I had a thought of new life
Of love

But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

I cannot force down this wall
ALONE

Why am I so alone?
Why is no one here?
Where is everyone I’ve known?
There’s so much I fear

Each day is a blur
There is no bliss
At night it comes back

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

I cannot force down this world
ALONE


But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

Chestnut Tree

I’m living in Oceania
As of now
This world all around me
Is bring me down
I can’t take this anymore
Let me go.

Big brother’s here
He’s going to help you
Big brother’s here
To chop off your head

“It was only a hopeless fancy
It passed like an April day
But a look and a word and the dreams they stirred
They have stolen my heart away”

But it’ll never be gone
The hope for a better life
Smash me down, crush me
You don’t care

No one cares.

DOWN. DOWN. DOWN. DOWN.

Tear down the walls
Let them wash me away
Into an ocean of
Thought.

“They say that time heals all things
They say you can always forget
But the smiles and the tears across the years
They twist my heart string yet.”


Under the spreading chestnut tree,
I sold you and you sold me.
Here they lie, and here lie we,
Under the spreading chestnut tree.

Gone

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you”

Farther from the past
Like nothing before
For me it’s the last
I’m sick of this

Ridicule us
Tear us apart
Burn us inside out
We’ll never stop

Out of control
You’re out of control
Out of control
Everyone is out of control.

Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you.”

Surreality

SILENCE.

A world around me of bloodshed and tears
I want to be gone

I find myself wishing everyone were dead
I find myself wishing I could kill them
I find myself wishing people were gone
I find myself wishing I were gone

It’s all so surreal, a world inside my head
THIS IS A DREAM

A day is a year; a year is a day, a second is always a second

How can someone with so much be so alone?
How can someone with nothing be so happy?
When the world wants to end nobody hears.
Anything.

I’m on the way down a road never taken before
Never printed by a foot
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.

FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM. FREEDOM.

With another life to live, change me.

The voices, the voices, the voices control me
I have no thoughts anymore
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.

Sustain me. Powers shoot through my fingertips.

I am in a cage
With no bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.






I’ll free me from myself.

Stars

She wanders through the garden path
Eyes closed




The wind brushes her face
Beautiful





A dreamy thought of kindness
All she wants





And as I walk after her in the garden
I understand



This is the place for me
This is where I want to be
It could just be you and me
Please.



And the flowers have bloomed once again
Spring awakens




And the sun will shine once more
Enlighten





Savor the sleep I don’t want to have
With you




Lie in the garden
And breathe



Run quick when they follow
Always get away
No one must find you














I found a star
But I wasn’t looking in the sky

Return of Love

I stood still…

A smell of strawberries.

Whiplash!

Beauty.

A flash of a girl…

I was in love.

A field of corn,

Her face…

Clenched fists I walk away,

Give,

Me,

Her.

Whirlwind.

I was swept away!

Another planet…

I’m in love

Speechless.

Flanked from behind,

I will embrace her.

No more hiding.

I will catch you,

I will catch you,

I will fall down your back,

The sun shall rise again.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Bend the bars and break them.

I’m here to save you.

One day I’ll learn how to fly.

I love you.

What’s your name?

Darkened Days

If nothing is something, then something is here

In my mind it’s fucking wrong
I’m trapped in the world around me
If only they’d let me out
I could be the person I aspire to be

My own self
My own real self

But the lies and rushed goodbyes
To say hello to a darkened deeply night

These words
Will fly out the window
As a remembrance to the things we lost
Along the way
Where did we go?
When were the quick goodbyes exchanged?

It’s all gone
There’s nothing left inside me
The feeling left is a void

As the snow falls from rooftops
I sing for more
I sing of a life of fulfillment
I sing of a life a definite
I sing for more
I sing of the real freedom we live

I wanna be gone
Gone from a world of hatred and death
You see me spiraling
INTO ABYSS

Morals corrupted. We accept as fact
In the end it’s all the same

In my backyard I scream for a louder life
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be

My Contribution

Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
The center of my life

A need for change, a difference
From who I used to be

I was not myself
I was lost along the road

“And so I pledge so forthwith:
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change. Everything.”

FOR

HUMANITY

For people, for sky, for happiness to look for



For love.

Cages

LOVE
What do you feel? How do you think? Who do you even LOVE?
ANYONE?

A hard backed kid, nowhere to turn.
Except the hatred of others

I look at the ones you cage
I look at the ones you hide
I look at the freedom bottled up inside
THE CAGE.

I am not in a cage.
I refuse to be in a cage.
I will never, never ever be left in a cage

We are better than this. Turn it around. MEANING.

LET THE WORLD OUT
FREEDOM-HUMANITY-CONCIOUS
CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS
LOVE, love the world?
Free us all.

reality

reality

don’t take me
don’t look back at the airy space behind
there’s a heart inside
USE IT PLEASE
if you’re gone, you’re gone, you’ll always be gone
it’s a pleasure you’re not coming back

to the left are your enemies
but you’ll live through it all
i know it’s difficult to follow. follow. FOLLOW.

never lead.
a difference in the crowd is weakness.
how could you ever be a leader? crime. crime. CRIME.

i’ll tell you now:
the ocean is cleansing me

DOOM, DOOM, DOOM.
faraway in the depths of loneliness
many lists are done

this world won’t love me
but i’ll stand face
charge into the wall
and stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
please help.
please stop.
everything.

Once Friends

Scars: a reminder of a deep darkened past
Forever trapped within them
DEPLETION

Alas there’s no power in saying anything
You have been through nothing
To the all-seeing eye

But do I mean eye?
Or the letter itself
It’s what we’re all about

The soul’s been dismembered
It’s not there anymore
DISPOSITION

Reason it out because is she nothing?
She would make it better in ways
I know it.
GRIM

Grim grim grim
A cat on the street pleading for a way to get out
PLEASE

Hate for society, not what it’s about
It’s a matter of pure, utter alliance
LOYALTY ABOVE ALL

Gonners

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world




Sadly enough, I cannot say the same
I cannot say the same for them
They turned their back. Pushed me away
You’re dead to me
Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
No morals, no heart, no consideration there
I’m ashamed to say:
I hope you’re the one in the ambulance




I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world





I guess I’m done with you and your bullshit, selfish ways
It’s official:
I KNOW I’M BETTER THAN THAT

I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.
I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world


I don’t need you.
I really hate you.
I don’t need you.
At long last, I’m done.

I'm sorry.

This is my official apology to you.

Endring

Who are you?
I asked what to be
I asked him what to be

He told me, “Yourself.”

Like a splitting of the wood, I’ve been cut in half

He’s the trunk of the family tree
He’s the long standing tower that never tumbles
He’s the leader of a nation that nobody hears

Who are you?
What do you feel?
Change me.

Sang

By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood

Give me the change
That’s so long overdue
A loud wailing laughter
Of blood

Carve in the books
My original name
It comes from the earth
Blood

Far beyond reason
Yet so long I endured
Show me the pathway
Blood

Noisy silence waits in the distance
Nothing to fear
But blood

A rhythmic pattern
That never had faded
Another chance at life
Blood

Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo

Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
LOVE MEANS BLOOD

One Day I'll Learn How To Fly...

"Then I saw a girl with the most beautiful hair.
She had it wrapped around herself for clothes she did not wear."

La Vie

Life is a closed clothes closet.
The beginning had it empty.
Again, it’s empty now.

I saw nothing there. nothing left for me.

I needed to be clothed.
More. More. More.

Clothes were my addiction.
More. More. More.

Money all gone, no place to live, bare feet on the floor
But More. More. More.

I filled the void encircling me with
More. More. More.

And my reflection one day told me
Clothes meant nothing at all.
So I threw them all away.

I started over.

Numb

Feeling that have gone away are never coming back
The genius words of worthless lyrics
Nothing unfinished

Of a light and a darkness that will mix all the same
I feel nothing
I hate this state

I want a purpose
I need a purpose

I’ll turn my cheek; I’ll look the other way
I don’t need this shit anymore

I’m sick of a life
Of harmful loneliness

I wouldn’t mind it if it wasn’t so empty
How ‘bout a meaningful mind?
When the people all around me
Are rocks on the shore
I search for myself

Adrenaline keeps me going
Depression keeps me down
Fill the void, entertain me
Spill my thought with ink

Caged Bird by Maya Angelou

Just a poem i like by Maya Angelou i saw the other day:

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Heartbeats

I sleep with one eye open
Should I live with both eyes closed?
A forbidden pasture running
Through the eyes of ghastly souls

These lines are here for nothing
Because I see the world fly by
Into darkness, darkness, darkness
Truth in a land of lies

Heap the hill of insanity
Dug into my skin
Look to a place of freedom
Over the tall, brick, wall.

A thin line goes between
Normal and insane
With a burden comes a message
Just gibberish, just gibberish

And the quiet people running
For it is they who underlie
But the silence they will bring
Will stop the evolution

Bright lights in a world of darkness
Is it we and we alone?
I know the heart is out there
Find me. Find me. Find me.

Reach out beyond the wilderness
Into the hands of I
Freedom lies within the vacancy
What is a soul?

Bum

This night will be remembered with no importance at all
Never remembered as the night of my fall
When she was not by my side
No where to confide
Creep through my vains
Down. Down. Down.



Clock bells strike midnight
Funeral proceedings
Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum.
The end of my needing



Lights in the sky
Most likely a lie
Not a new thing for me
To be, to be, to be



Long night go crazy into mornings of doom
The world is spinning fast. Fast. FAST.
Freeze me in time
Fine dine of ghost



Give me nothing
And I’ll be satisfied
Gifts I don’t receive
Faces denied



I look to ceiling
I look to the wall
I look to the floor
With no importance at all.

Something New

As the cold world sleeps a feeling of hardship
It washes over me, washes over me, oh.
Like a cloud could swallow the sky, I fell off the slide.

I wanna slip away, completely unnoticed
No recollections of the unforgiving past
I could light some candles
Maybe this’ll be the last

A line of cars none of the real
I imagine it all
Symmetrical to the future
Feels like last fall

And as October flies by
The real question comes to mind
Lie down by my side
Will it be you that I find?

Why do they all have to lie?
Why do they do exactly what you die for?
Stick another post-it to the wall
I guess I want more.

I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I think I want you to know me.

Cookies

They come in the night
Through withered dark spaces
Chain me to nothing
Hold me back from tomorrow
36 reasons
Not to live anymore
And only two reasons against it:
These words and cookie dough
Shadowy figures can stand up against me
But never may they be real
Disconnected from the outside world
Sweep me off my feet
Bedside tables counting twelve
Ethan’s brand new job
And two plus two might equal four
But four minus four is always nothing
Nothing is anything
But I am everything
So pack your bags
And say goodbye
‘Cause this is my world
And it’s all that I have left

Her

Snap me in half.
Toss me and turn.
I’ll bow at your feet.
I’ll feel your burn.
I’ll be your rock.
I’ll be your island.

I know you can save me.
If only you’d try.
You would tell me truths.
Not whisper me lies…

Unconcious

WEAK PEOPLE
I’m not afraid to watch the tide
What you see is what you get
I THOUGHT
But eyes can be deceiving
That what people just don’t get

I like to think, like to have a mind, of my own
I won’t walk on with society
As, a, whole
Why the fuck would you say what you think if its nothing at all?
I won’t live in a lie in itself
TELL ME THE TRUTH
But you don’t know what really happens out there
In the sea of fucking lies with no one listening
BUT ME
When was the last time you thought twice about talking to thee ugly girl in the corner?
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a brain of my own
Intellectually trained, to be its own self
Have opinions, in see of mindless wonder, wonder, wonder
I wonder sometimes what the world would be like
Had the founding fathers said
FUCK THIS
Fuck nothing if you care you need to figure this out
I’ve got my own life this is not what my life’s about

I’m not afraid to say KNOW to the substance that would kill me
I have a life to think about
HOW, ABOUT, YOU?
I’m not afraid to be different from the stereotypical shit
In you all trying to be different you all end
JUST, THE, SAME
You think you’re on the edge of society, fuck that
You’re right in the middle.
Everyone loves you except, your, self, self, self, self
That’s the difference you gotta fix yourself before you fix others
Cause no ones gonna care about a fucked up kid standing in the rain
It’s all a record player spinning, spinning real real fast
One day you’ll all just fall off, unless you get yourself away from the center
No one can be cool no one is okay nothing is ok badness badness badness
That’s what you say
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a heart.

Screams

Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams.
He won’t feel that anymore
He has real things
Feelings inside
He knows where freedom really lies
The inside of his own self somewhere deep down
The circle of life will keep turning
He may not happy but he knows where he stands
The natural life of life of life
Ice-cold winters bring warmth in truth
Hiding under tables will always be not
Bottles and bottled silence
And the screams he hears no more
Will free him of everything
Il a la liberte.

A Letter

You are the wandering fall leaves, floating on the ocean in an array of wondrous sailboats;
You are the sky above me like tears raining down;
You are the ground below me who will support me steadfast

And the leaves shall never burn;
And the skies shall never fall;
And the ground, the ground shall never, ever quake.

A New Letter

She is the wandering fall leaf
Floating in the moat
In an array of wondrous sailboats

She is the sky above me
Like tears raining down
She wears a wondrous winter gown

She is the ground below me
Who will support me steadfast
A simple glance turns me aghast

She is the leaf on fire
A flame that rises high
The end of this leaf is nigh

She is the sinking sky
Crashing unto me ever so quick
The reality makes my insides sick

She is the quaking earth
Splitting through me; I am a fault
My life is coming to a halt

A Story

This crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight
Through the night that it comes
Disease spreads his body
Out through his toes
Out through his nose
No food, no shelter,
No warmth to live
He lies on the bare ground
With cardboard as sheets
For this crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight

sixth commandment

sixth commandment
overnight meltdowns
tears shed at dusk
melancholy whispers
tiny specs of dust

a life and a burden
unavoidable tasks
the daily routine
and people with masks

with a difference of consciousness
he understood and ran
and for this gift
he is shunned by the man

thou shalt not kill
but inside hes curled
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

no love has he felt
since quite a different time
escape his own past
or another French mime

has it really come to this
is this really the end
do i have to turn around
start all over again

because honestly id like to
maybe a change of heart would be good

and the cold world stops for no one
there’s love out there somewhere
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

Society

Swallow my face into nothingness
Your shit is all the same
My saliva burns on the tip of her tongue

But you still fucking kill
And we still fucking die
For your fucking lies
That you call the American cause

Troy

Four story house
Gallons of nothing
Drinking it down
Oh so fast

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing to the power of doom

Running through the purple faced crowd
Why do they all look the same?
The trenches won’t stop him
He knows where he’s going
He has no limbs

DJFKLQ9
Good luck with everything
I’ve gotta move on
Now the plan is crashing
My soul bleeds inside out
Daddy’s blunt comes to its end
“Light up another one boy”
“Fuck you”

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing over to the power of man

A quote I like...

"Just love the world that won't love you back"

Faraway

I wanna take a walk into the garden of hell
Say hello to the fisherman, whoa, oh!
He’ll tell me of the river flowing east from there
A Garden of Eden if forbidden to me
A look of hate across the eyes is:
All
I
Get.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Go northward to the fountain, fight the old man
Hear the church bells ringing singing whoa, oh!
And the ol’ priest’ll feed you and give you some clothes
He told me “We don’t go naked ‘round here!”
Once you the hit the village you’ve gone too far.
Take a look around. You’re done.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Lie down, close your eyes; it’s just a land of freedom.
We don’t got no worries we just dance and sing
And if a sucker comes ‘round we’ll say nothing he can come right in

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

In And Out Again

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur le petit dodo

What happened to me?
I once stood so strong
The things that I once had
Are all now dear and gone

Freedom is the only escape
I need to be far
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

There goes one there goes another
My life yearns to wither away
It’s the way life seems to thrive
No one cares, I don’t matter

Who does this even concern?
Who the fuck am I even writing about?
Day-by-day they come and go
But I’ll still be here


No way no how
I have no place to go
I hate myself more than ever

Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

Midnight Words

Another night I fall asleep
Pondering the thought
Of what went wrong

Scared and alone
I am a distraught calf
Lost from its mother
Never to be found

Dispare and lonliness
Flies all around here
The never ending thought of death

This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be.

(Insert Title Here)

When I look into the pain
Of glass all I see
All I see staring back
Is a boy I don’t know

With a glare in his eye
An angry look on his face
He lives this cold world
Alone with himself

No one will care
No one will care
For the life and the death
Of the boy I see here

Bending over backwards
Just to see what he can find
He’ll explore the depths of loneliness
Just to waste away the time

Sometimes it doesn’t matter
Who your friends are, what they think
Because the people who have hurt
The boy I see here

A brother, a lover, a companion, a friend
I’ll show those people some day
I’ll show the world some day
What I’m all about.

freedom

escape from these places
escape from these spaces
i’m sick of confinements
i wanna get free

i had an idea
of brand new beginnings
i can’t take this life
i wanna get free

screaming and crying and yelling and begging
lies and promises
i wanna get free

“make me a bird
give me wings
so I can go some place far”
i wanna get free.

This Is Not Over

Through the flames I look at you
Burning me to char
You spend your life lying on the couch
While I rip my eyes from T.V. screens
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
But I can save you

The Burden

The burden
The loneliness
Of which I must carry
Have left me with nothing
But the words I have here

How could she leave me?
With nothing to spare
She left me so perfectly
Perfectly wrong
I left my pure glory
In two minutes flat
The emptiness inside me
I cannot figure out

This feeling
I need someone.

Wandering Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder

How they keep on going

When nothing is good

And they are alone

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Well I know what it feels like

To be left in the dust

But somehow I think that every time

Forgiveness is a must

But I’m certainly realizing

It’s not always right to say

“It’s okay.”

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all.