Love and Sorrow.

Go Away

2009-05-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

Naked on the floor
Shivering
Sweat drips from
My nostrils
Blood
Relentlessly flows

A jab in
The stomach
The eyes
The heart
My brain lies
Five feet away

Scratch out
A few
Words
In piercing agony
Grabbing at
Air
Clutching my
Chest, stomach
Vomit
Scream
Yell
Moan
Whisper
“Va t’en.”

Variations On My Imagination

2009-05-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

The young ones sing
Of life and future
As we grow older
Of death and past?

Nightmares sink in my mind
It rose from the floor
Cataclysmic downfall

The hands are chains
The feet are hooks
The eyes are black
The brain is dry
The heart is gone

Unresponsive

2009-04-24T23:11:00.001-04:00

Run
Run
Run
Run

There are lights along a pathway
No one ever sees

And as we break into the clearing
I’m alone once again

To be silent is to be heard
Yet this burning loneliness
Is left in silent pain

Leave me
Wish me away

She said, he said, she said too
Go away
I’m alone once again

Invite everyone but me
To this life long party

In my own mind
Everyone knows my name
It doesn’t feel the same
I wouldn’t be alone

Cable TV

2009-04-24T23:11:00.000-04:00

She lays

Her gaze

Her smile

Sweeps me
Away

A captured moment
A framed picture
Her love
Entangles me

Let her hair
Be
My cloth

Softly
I place my lips
On hers

Flowers bloom
Skies cry
Grass grows

There we lay

Wildflyer

2009-04-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

Seduce me
This poison in my lungs control me
A refugee in my own home

It’s a time where swine reign free
Scream with me
Jump from a helicopter
To fly

I will fly
I will fly
I will fly
I will fly
I will fly
I will fly
I will fly
To a place of tranquility

On the Innocence of Children

2009-04-17T23:11:00.000-04:00

Children play on the doorsteps
Cloudless sky shining bright
Sweet music in their ears
And the big world starts to cry

Broken homes and bankrupt
Care break down on the side
Shadows, shadows, shadows
And the children play

Gunfire, gunpowder
Dust in the eyes
Strangers become you
And the children play

Tears rape the faces
Of the raped, themselves
Wretched blackbirds sing
And the children play

Forever the rain
Forever the thunder
Forever the tormenting past
And the children play

Borderline Love

2009-04-16T23:11:00.000-04:00

Get out of my head
She said
Get out of my head

Yearning for a life
Search me
As I search you
Let me in
Let me in
Let be your
Friend

Lonely but not alone
Said the strange faced man
Lost in the sea of found
Humans
I find you to be my only companion

Get out of my head
Get out.

Hussies and Harlots

2009-04-15T23:11:00.000-04:00

Swallowed by trends
Scared to the bone
In the face of danger, you run

He eats your filth
He swallows your disease

As the world around you crumbles
Government swine reign
To destroy your heroes

You hand out sex like cupcakes

Shake me! Shame me!
Smash my head through the wall

He eats your filth
He swallows your disease

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

You’ll never hear me scream.

Dreams, Screams

2009-04-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

I’ve been trapped in the mind of others
Because
No one hears the screams
And no one sees the dreams

Our fathers built it
For us to tear it down
And as my hands shake with fear
I scream once again

Let me never ---
Forever eternal
The light in my eyes

The men have spoken

And as my hear burns
I dream once again

No one hears the screams
No one sees the dreams

With Lies

2009-04-13T23:11:00.000-04:00

This is no time for complaints
But she begs of you. (Another word of woe

Decipher the words to change the likes
And kindly show yourself out
This is not a time for friends

Beginning the end means &@” starting all over
Dance the song of words
Combine the likes
;;;;I need time ))
Spin faster now. Spin! Spin! Spin?
Clocking nothing now

Fire of the city
But lights are out at night
Crying to see her pity
Do we really live to fight$$?

Rest on her shoulder, she’ll let you Piece
Money gone, I like nigh
Inspiration turns to doe
With lies

Idiosyncrasy

2009-04-04T23:11:00.000-04:00

To swallow
This sound
I swallow
Your heart

I feel the fire
As you
Slide down
My throat

Hypocrisy prevails
And you begin to eat each other alive

For Teitur

2009-04-03T23:11:00.001-04:00

The land could be unsatisfied
With the rain
And the trees will cry

Nature has embraced
The sudden massacre of flowers
In the cold

Snow turns to rain
Bare branches turn green
In flower

The birds open eyes
And sing to the sight
Of the vast sky

I open my ears
I open my eyes
I open my mouth
To take off

I am again the flight of bird

And all my mistakes shall become masterpieces

One Less Pigeon

2009-04-02T23:11:00.000-04:00

This pigeon flies above
As the blue sky could swallow
Him

As he becomes the horizon
The clouds sing:
To the freedom of his wings
To the light of his eyes
To the warmth of his heart

Soars and airstreams
Of land and sea below
He flies
He soars himself away
In circles he lives
I though he was diving towards the water

A vulture has no mercy

This Ceremony

2009-04-01T23:11:00.000-04:00

I choke
On saliva
Next
Morning I wake
To the sound of
The sacrificed lamb

Shake the earth
Into the rock’s heart
To come this far
I rue this intoxication

I kill
The repeating chivalry
Of standing on
The edge of
Risk

To feel like a man
I have the
Feminine out of life
I have become hate itself

To Fly

2009-03-31T23:11:00.000-04:00

Stars
Rain
Down

Light burning in the heart of men
Dimmed

They have deemed me
Hopeless
The scars unveil
Lies, lies

The space between us
Has engulfed the darkness and
The skies too high

To escape the cycle
Is to feel the skies

Association is poor
Excuses from the eyes
Of the man in the suit
He burned his cigarette
In my forehead

So I looked up
And stars fell

Or did I get closer?

World Crumbling

2009-03-30T23:11:00.000-04:00

I’ve opened this door
A thousand times before
To feel the wind
Of this cold
World crumbling

The bomb falls
Into me
The pieces of me
Are on the wall

2009-03-29T22:14:00.000-04:00

Deep in the heart of man lays a secret unknown to common mankind, yet each of our hearts projects this secret through our eyes and ears every day. As we follow this alleged secret, it interferes and begins to take control of our lives. It controls our hearts and enslaves our senses. It becomes us as we sacrifice ourselves. This secret is religion.

Religion is no more than a tool, a weapon of power. The very institutions that claim to teach us of love and kindness are the people who attempt to instill hate and fear in our minds. Who taught us to hate gays? Who taught us to laugh at misfortune? The church controls the center of our deepest focus of feeling. But how is it that the minds of so many have come to hate and have grown unable to think freely? They threaten us with “God’s punishments.”

But who is God? What is one legitimate reason to fall down on our knees and exert all our energy on an invisible magic that splits seas, light a fire without burning, turns water into wine?

There is ancient religion deeply instilled into modern Chinese culture called Taoism. Taoism states that there is an ultimate force that around the world is referred to as many deities from the Ancient Greeks’ Zeus to the modern interpretation of God and Jesus. It says that these are all synonyms for one simple thing: a force that controls all. This is accurate but not entirely true. Religion itself is only a point in space, a point in time. I would tell you religion is nothing, but “nothing” is not a word perfect enough to describe this. Religion is quite limitless, in reality. So from here on in, this is my religion.

This religion consists of the simplest form of reality. In a sense, it has zero dimensions.

I hereby state that this religion in itself is limitless. There is no time constraints, no beliefs. But I refrain from describing it as complete freedom because in its freedom is utter slavery. It is the ultimate neutral ground. It is neither positive nor negative. It is a point in space, neither in our dimension nor in any other dimension. Because it is nowhere, though, it is everywhere.

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is the most fundamental aspect of this religion. In this world direct neutrality is impossible, so intead to create what simple neutrality is necessary for perfection we can manipulate opposites that cancel each other out. So refer to this: (1)+(-1)

Take note to the fact that this religion is not perfect. It is the indescribable in neutrality. There is no word in the English language, or any other language for that matter, that can describe this accurately. It is the definition of nothing, it is the definition of everything, but “nothing” is not perfect enough to describe it. So for now it remains nameless.

It is zero.
Life and death are not opposites.

maxwell paul fineman

Dear Stranger

2009-03-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

Dear stranger,
I love you
Let me in your past
Let me guide you
So you can guide me
Together we can…
NO. NO. NO.
Together we can’t

I’ll never find the solitude
He told me himself

(I won’t go back)

live and hate
feel the wonder
the energy is drained

the current of gasoline
is in my dreams
is in my heart
is in me

we are the controlled ones
I’ll never be on my own

Leave

2009-03-21T23:11:00.001-04:00

Here’s to the ones
Who still have futures
Here’s to the ones
Who still have pasts

This rigid lie
Of life and crime
Has done enough
To say goodbye

Shipwrecked hope
Abandoned ones

(This is for the hopeful)

If you find me in the cellar
Leave me
If you find me in the closet
Leave the door open
And if the water fills my lungs
Leave

Capitalize

2009-03-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

The clouds reflect off the face of corporate America
These hard concrete walls can’t confine
“War drums don’t move my feet”

The economic downturn
Is what will save us
From this abandoned, sinking ship

Fuck constitutionality
Fuck congressional powers
The supreme court is not supreme to me

Governmental salutation is an oxy-moron
Modern life is an oxy-moron
I am the oxy-moron, I am supreme

The establishment separates natural life

I am the establishment
I am corporate America
I am the government
I am the constitution
I am dead.

Access Denied

2009-03-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

The words on my arm
All hope and sorrow gone
As he lifts from the ground
To set fire

Paper burned
Water dry
Earth
Suffocates me

Forced
Into insanity
From behind
The match

Skies above
Shut black
For me

Swoosh

2009-03-18T23:11:00.001-04:00

Puff. Puff.
The rainstorm’s a-coming
A cloud covered sky

The air is
Thick
The sky is
Gray
The wind

I’m blown
To the misty mountain top of the mountain peak
Where the snow can
Fall
Like
Tiny specs of
Beauty
Avalanche

Green, the
Spring smelling of
Air
Out of the lake
The trees, there is
A bird

Flies through the spring
Flies to the mountain
Flies above the clouds

Where it is
Shhhhhhhh.

And This Is Chains

2009-03-17T23:11:00.001-04:00

The pressure closes in
He sleeps in chains on the gloom of day
The rising son brings fear
In the whites of his eyes

The walls are made of air
The entire world lat at his mercy
And this is chains

He can run free in the fields
And play with the horses
He can breathe the fresh air
And this is chains

The sun illuminates
Fresh enlightenment inside
Breathing life and in
And this is chains

She loves him
She evaporates the world around him
The clouds bow down to her
And this is chains

Nine months pass
The child is born
A beautiful child
And this is chains

Manhate.

2009-03-16T23:11:00.001-04:00

Goodbye to a world
That has shown no mercy
I leave you with not a thread of hope

Your so very kind ways
Make me want to take off my clothes
And eat them

The love instill
In the mind of my youth
Is the very hate you fear

They have stolen away my childhood
They have stolen away my past
I’m getting out
Before they steal my future

Mankind is a figment of my own imagination
I call your people:
Manhate.

Violence is but a symbol
Of your deceits of love and lust
My uncertainty assures me of you

The brick wall you built
As humanity
Is in ruins beneath my feet
I have destroyed it.
I will destroy you.

I have become my own hate
Loving the hopelessness
Of you

So I hope you hear me scream:

I hate you.

Manhate.

Gross

2009-03-15T23:11:00.001-04:00

Confiscate the minds
Of the youth around me

You’re a fat selfish pig

The sight of you
Makes my stomach fold

You couldn’t leave the floor if you tried

I hope the love inside you
Kills you all the same

This ink is for you
This is my dedication
This is for the ones I love:
Nobody

So sit on the couch, watch your T.V.
And when your superhero comes to save you
And when you finally can stand up
Call me

What?

2009-02-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

The clouds remind me
Of the hopeful past
Let me forget
What’s going to last

The whispers in my ears
Tell me of my pain
As I remember
What I had to gain

Yet the shivering darkness
Of years long ago
Ripped apart
By this very soul

The bush is burned
And he spoke to me
Of the light that’s yet to come
Of the light I can’t see
Shining lights
And shining sea
I close my eyes
She puts her hand on me

“Let go.
Let go.
Let go.”

The light has burned out
I should replace the bulb

The Sky Is Dead

2009-02-22T23:11:00.000-05:00

The sky is dead
Puffs of smoke and water
Falling from the sky
What are that drops of thunder?
And bolts of carried rain

The sky is dead
Gasoline and fear
Flowing through the minds
Of people dead next year
And dirty watered lead

The sky is dead
The birds lost their wins
The airplanes lost their engines
The clouds have lost all rain
The people have said
Sky
Earth
Water
Fire
The sky is dead

Shh

2009-02-21T23:11:00.000-05:00

Come catch the rabbit
He’s running

The wall rises up
He’s running

Look through the hedge’s dark
He’s running

The smiling jackhammer
He stops

Come catch the stream
It’s running

The dam rises up
It’s running

Should have died forthwith
It’s running

Blip. Blip. Blip.
It stops.

Come catch the birdie
She flies

Through to the field
She flies

Through the hair of the maiden
She flies

And then HE comes
She falls.

Love, I.

2009-02-20T23:11:00.000-05:00

Despair
At the word
Love
That I can’t have
In the face of a wall
I scream for her

I need this one
This
This
This
Her

Give me
More
Through the empty wilderness
I want
Her
Her
Her
Her
I
Love.

Grounded

2009-02-19T23:11:00.001-05:00

The pressure closes
In
Then the shades close he opens
His eyes

Eyes wide open but heart shut tight
He searches for a place to
Be

The bees sting
And the lions roar
The rabbits run
And the clouds soar

A freedom of
Choice
A freedom of
Life
A breaking in
Spirit
A change of
Heart

I’m searching for
The corner
Where I can be
Alone

Give me time
I can soar too

White Woman Falling

2009-02-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

White woman falling; sky of black
Lechers could count on me
Fool the ones who
Fooled you

Whine and beg and beer and
Fixing the
Life is a circle like
Wanting a teddy

Rosy velt to
Help fix the tool shed

Possession

2009-02-17T23:11:00.001-05:00

I don’t want to fall
But I don’t want you to catch me
I don’t want to be here
But I don’t to leave

I don’t want to fail
But I can’t stand success
I don’t want to see
But I can never be blind

In the darkness the choice is indifferent
In the light the choice is too much

I don’t ever want to grow up
But I can’t stay here forever
I don’t ever want to feel
But I’m sick of the numbness

I don’t want to live
But I shall never die

So I guess I’ll just scream:

“The beauty of having is nothing.”

Moon

2009-02-16T23:11:00.001-05:00

Of the bird that flies from the tree
I have nothing to say

The consequences of
Public information
Leave the legs intact
On earth

To run away, to fly away
In a world with no feet
An advantage shall pass

And as we go into darkness
I see white
I see light
I see white

The black and white society
With no consequences
Is the future’s liability

The indescribable white of night
The evidence of darkness in the sun

Of the bird flying back to the tree
I say nothing

Signs

2009-02-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

Open my eyes to
My body
Drenched in sweat

The bed is gone
The room is gone
The house is gone

Nothing but light
The salt on my fingertips
Can churn the waters

Last night was a lackluster dream
Filled with sedation and horror
Death in syncopation

The tears raped my eyes
The saliva gripped my tongue
The death absorbed my life

By Sarah Adams:

2009-02-08T16:57:00.000-05:00

He is going to die.
He knows he is young
and he is still fairly unsurprised
to find that his life is not flashing before his eyes,
as he had been led to expect
merely the last eighteen days:
His mother
kissing him on both cheeks at the airport,
crying as he smiled
and told her that he loved her,
he’d try to visit soon
and write letters, and that he’d be fine,
and once more,
“I love you”
The luggage on the bus to
The room where he would stay
The flight when he was
too excited
to sleep, though he was exhausted
Arrival
Leaving the airport and all remnants of
everything he knew
along with it
Walking
Hunger
The sights the sounds the smells the feelings and the thoughts
The boy
The car
The death
The broken family
The broken heart
The jail
The terror
The pain
The trial
The Urdu which he could not know
And the truth:
That which he could not make them know
That he was not a murderer
That he had tried to save the boy
And now his death
He is so young
He does not want to die.
He begins to shake as
The policeman begins to strap him into
The chair.
He continues to shake
more violently this time,
as his executioner flips
The Big Red Switch.
He stops shaking.

To Dusk

2009-02-02T23:11:00.001-05:00

He wanders down the road.
Step. Crunch. Step. Crunch.
Leafy dirt underneath consumes him.

The trees are fallen
The light is dim
The birds aren’t calling
For him

He wanders down the road
Far from hasty souls
Benevolence needs him.

Can he hide away?
Under the forbidden tree?
Intertwining her, into the leaves.

He hasn’t seen the sky,
Since he got on the road,
That sunny, august afternoon.
When she told him. And she left. And he left.

He decided to stop walking.
He decided to build a new road.
To dusk.

Ardent Response

2009-02-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

The darkness we share
Gives me the light
And I continue to see no progress in myself

I’ve turned my check
I’ve looked the other way

More disgusted with the light
That darkens my days
All I want is white.

White.
Light.

Don’t help me
If I can’t help myself
Forget the problems of the future

I beg you,
Don’t forget the problems of the past

The flattened world flutters away
In your eyes
So live.
Live.
Live in me.

I am the knife.
I am the knife.
I am the knife.
I am the knife.
I am the knife.
I am the knife.
I am the knife.

I still love you.

This Girl I Know

2009-01-30T23:11:00.001-05:00

This girl I know
She ain’t from ‘round here
She says back home it’s diffrint
Ervythings diffrint

‘nd she tells me she’s sick
and I bee needin’ to save her
I sure wish I cood

This girl I know
Is callin’ for me
She bee lettin’ me borrow her life
And I holde it in my arms ervy day
And sing to her

And when she bee standin’ in frunt me
I bee needin’ to calm
‘cause I start shakin’ like reel hell

Forgotten Birthday

2009-01-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

Why does the sun shine when its frigid zero?
Why can I see through the water?
Why do I look to the sky above?
To feel nothing.

The gardens out of vegetables
Birthdays gone
When she doesn’t know anymore
A spineless day when no one
Is beautiful

Oils running out inside
A system of lies
A system. A system. A system. A system.

Citizens of the world are
Starving
Begging
Starving
Begging
Starving
Begging
Starving

Hit me!

Lights

2009-01-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

A wrought beauty

In a virgin mind

Fearless strut

Of mine

Her heart is
Eloquent in
Beautiful wonder

Her
My pasture
Her
My sky

That light
A girl
A wonder

Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me

That light
A girl
A wonder

Something More

2009-01-27T23:11:00.000-05:00

Why can’t I be
The bird in the trees
The lion roaming free
A great whale in the sea?

In a world of
Lions
I am a
Lamb

Can’t I try and
Run free in this
Pasture?

Where the rabbits jump
And the geese sing
And the deer run and
Forget every
Thing

Dry Bones

2009-01-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

My bones are Dry

My tongue is Dry

My feet are Dry

My heart will never be DRY

I fear my own Blood
It poisons me
Forever I eat myself

On the inside I’m Dry
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
But a heart…

Somewhere deep down
Deep. Deep. Deep.
It’s there

The underground lake
Under the surface

Mood swings hard
Ground into tears
The mind of a deranged maniac

I might be a deranged maniac
I might be insane
I might be a maniac

I HAVE A HEART

when god lets her go

2009-01-12T21:54:00.001-05:00

when god lets her go

the birds will fly
from the sufferers eye

the darkened world will sing upon
the essence of freedom

she will fly to the red Land
to the red Land

where it is dry and green
and warm and yellow

and the rocks dance to sounds of
her foot steps and she
smiles

the trees will lie
down
let her pass. She can
go. go. go.

to the beach where the land
mingles with water like blue and yellow

mixes to form
green

the sun can make
a smile and she’ll jump
and be the sun

Steps

2008-12-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

With every step I take
The pain persists
The people around me
Are unconscious fists

The nightmares I endure
Have become real
It’s time that we
Help to heal

And I’ll never be the same
But at least the fleeting despair
Has put me through the shame
That I am ready to dare
To live

I bear the pain and the things I carry
Take it day by day
With candid response
I’ll go my own way

I’m ready to live
I’m ready to fight
I’m ready to be in the world tonight

And the distance we share
Has brought through it all
Existence
Existence
Existence
We are all still in existence.

Impossible Reality

2008-12-17T23:11:00.001-05:00

I saw her sitting there
Breathing
In life
Her smell
Whoosh
A simple glance
I knew
Three words
Would do it
I love you

All things cease
She enters the room
Bright lights of mine
Deeper than beauty
It flows
It flows
It flows
Like a waterfall
Our conversation
I won’t confuse
Love and lust
And to abstain
The grain
I promise

You seem kind of familiar

A Painful Birth

2008-12-16T23:11:00.001-05:00

Where were you when the lights turned out?
Where were you when the walls burned down?
Where were you when I had my doubts?
You were always out of town

And I will not see this through
I’ll never be a part of you

Is this what our fathers dreamed of?
Dedicate their lives
Is this what are mothers screamed for?
It seems the pain
Meant nothing.

Rip the joy out of my heart
Sell it for pennies

This is the decline once again
The ink sinks deep into my skin
And so I scream:

The pain goes on
But life moves on
The pain goes on
Stop.

Welcome to America.

Vacation

2008-12-15T23:11:00.000-05:00

The ignorance is belligerent
Get me out of here.
Like being in an oven on 700 hundred degrees

Rightfully so, you’ll claim your possessions
Including my mind
I need some freedom of thought
You want me to be your sculpture

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

And if it wasn’t so hot
Things wouldn’t change
Punch myself in the face
I have no range

You need the limelight
To show me what you need
Ignorance goes beyond mankind

I had a thought of a new life
A life without strife
I had a thought of new life
Of love

But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

I cannot force down this wall
ALONE

Why am I so alone?
Why is no one here?
Where is everyone I’ve known?
There’s so much I fear

Each day is a blur
There is no bliss
At night it comes back

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

I cannot force down this world
ALONE

But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

Chestnut Tree

2008-12-12T23:11:00.002-05:00

I’m living in Oceania
As of now
This world all around me
Is bring me down
I can’t take this anymore
Let me go.

Big brother’s here
He’s going to help you
Big brother’s here
To chop off your head

“It was only a hopeless fancy
It passed like an April day
But a look and a word and the dreams they stirred
They have stolen my heart away”

But it’ll never be gone
The hope for a better life
Smash me down, crush me
You don’t care

No one cares.

DOWN. DOWN. DOWN. DOWN.

Tear down the walls
Let them wash me away
Into an ocean of
Thought.

“They say that time heals all things
They say you can always forget
But the smiles and the tears across the years
They twist my heart string yet.”

Under the spreading chestnut tree,
I sold you and you sold me.
Here they lie, and here lie we,
Under the spreading chestnut tree.

Gone

2008-12-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you”

Farther from the past
Like nothing before
For me it’s the last
I’m sick of this

Ridicule us
Tear us apart
Burn us inside out
We’ll never stop

Out of control
You’re out of control
Out of control
Everyone is out of control.

Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you.”

Surreality

2008-12-09T23:11:00.000-05:00

SILENCE.

A world around me of bloodshed and tears
I want to be gone

I find myself wishing everyone were dead
I find myself wishing I could kill them
I find myself wishing people were gone
I find myself wishing I were gone

It’s all so surreal, a world inside my head
THIS IS A DREAM

A day is a year; a year is a day, a second is always a second

How can someone with so much be so alone?
How can someone with nothing be so happy?
When the world wants to end nobody hears.
Anything.

I’m on the way down a road never taken before
Never printed by a foot
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.

FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM. FREEDOM.

With another life to live, change me.

The voices, the voices, the voices control me
I have no thoughts anymore
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.

Sustain me. Powers shoot through my fingertips.

I am in a cage
With no bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.

I’ll free me from myself.

Stars

2008-12-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

She wanders through the garden path
Eyes closed

The wind brushes her face
Beautiful

A dreamy thought of kindness
All she wants

And as I walk after her in the garden
I understand

This is the place for me
This is where I want to be
It could just be you and me
Please.

And the flowers have bloomed once again
Spring awakens

And the sun will shine once more
Enlighten

Savor the sleep I don’t want to have
With you

Lie in the garden
And breathe

Run quick when they follow
Always get away
No one must find you

I found a star
But I wasn’t looking in the sky

Return of Love

2008-12-07T23:11:00.001-05:00

I stood still…

A smell of strawberries.

Whiplash!

Beauty.

A flash of a girl…

I was in love.

A field of corn,

Her face…

Clenched fists I walk away,

Give,

Me,

Her.

Whirlwind.

I was swept away!

Another planet…

I’m in love

Speechless.

Flanked from behind,

I will embrace her.

No more hiding.

I will catch you,

I will catch you,

I will fall down your back,

The sun shall rise again.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Bend the bars and break them.

I’m here to save you.

One day I’ll learn how to fly.

I love you.

What’s your name?

Darkened Days

2008-12-06T23:11:00.000-05:00

If nothing is something, then something is here

In my mind it’s fucking wrong
I’m trapped in the world around me
If only they’d let me out
I could be the person I aspire to be

My own self
My own real self

But the lies and rushed goodbyes
To say hello to a darkened deeply night

These words
Will fly out the window
As a remembrance to the things we lost
Along the way
Where did we go?
When were the quick goodbyes exchanged?

It’s all gone
There’s nothing left inside me
The feeling left is a void

As the snow falls from rooftops
I sing for more
I sing of a life of fulfillment
I sing of a life a definite
I sing for more
I sing of the real freedom we live

I wanna be gone
Gone from a world of hatred and death
You see me spiraling
INTO ABYSS

Morals corrupted. We accept as fact
In the end it’s all the same

In my backyard I scream for a louder life
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be

My Contribution

2008-12-05T23:11:00.001-05:00

Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
The center of my life

A need for change, a difference
From who I used to be

I was not myself
I was lost along the road

“And so I pledge so forthwith:
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change. Everything.”

FOR

HUMANITY

For people, for sky, for happiness to look for

For love.

Cages

2008-12-04T23:11:00.000-05:00

LOVE
What do you feel? How do you think? Who do you even LOVE?
ANYONE?

A hard backed kid, nowhere to turn.
Except the hatred of others

I look at the ones you cage
I look at the ones you hide
I look at the freedom bottled up inside
THE CAGE.

I am not in a cage.
I refuse to be in a cage.
I will never, never ever be left in a cage

We are better than this. Turn it around. MEANING.

LET THE WORLD OUT
FREEDOM-HUMANITY-CONCIOUS
CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS
LOVE, love the world?
Free us all.

reality

2008-12-03T23:11:00.000-05:00

reality

don’t take me
don’t look back at the airy space behind
there’s a heart inside
USE IT PLEASE
if you’re gone, you’re gone, you’ll always be gone
it’s a pleasure you’re not coming back

to the left are your enemies
but you’ll live through it all
i know it’s difficult to follow. follow. FOLLOW.

never lead.
a difference in the crowd is weakness.
how could you ever be a leader? crime. crime. CRIME.

i’ll tell you now:
the ocean is cleansing me

DOOM, DOOM, DOOM.
faraway in the depths of loneliness
many lists are done

this world won’t love me
but i’ll stand face
charge into the wall
and stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
please help.
please stop.
everything.

Once Friends

2008-12-02T23:11:00.000-05:00

Scars: a reminder of a deep darkened past
Forever trapped within them
DEPLETION

Alas there’s no power in saying anything
You have been through nothing
To the all-seeing eye

But do I mean eye?
Or the letter itself
It’s what we’re all about

The soul’s been dismembered
It’s not there anymore
DISPOSITION

Reason it out because is she nothing?
She would make it better in ways
I know it.
GRIM

Grim grim grim
A cat on the street pleading for a way to get out
PLEASE

Hate for society, not what it’s about
It’s a matter of pure, utter alliance
LOYALTY ABOVE ALL

Gonners

2008-12-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world

Sadly enough, I cannot say the same
I cannot say the same for them
They turned their back. Pushed me away
You’re dead to me
Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
No morals, no heart, no consideration there
I’m ashamed to say:
I hope you’re the one in the ambulance

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world

I guess I’m done with you and your bullshit, selfish ways
It’s official:
I KNOW I’M BETTER THAN THAT

I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.
I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world

I don’t need you.
I really hate you.
I don’t need you.
At long last, I’m done.

I'm sorry.

2008-12-01T23:03:00.001-05:00

This is my official apology to you.

Endring

2008-11-30T23:11:00.000-05:00

Who are you?
I asked what to be
I asked him what to be

He told me, “Yourself.”

Like a splitting of the wood, I’ve been cut in half

He’s the trunk of the family tree
He’s the long standing tower that never tumbles
He’s the leader of a nation that nobody hears

Who are you?
What do you feel?
Change me.

Sang

2008-11-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood

Give me the change
That’s so long overdue
A loud wailing laughter
Of blood

Carve in the books
My original name
It comes from the earth
Blood

Far beyond reason
Yet so long I endured
Show me the pathway
Blood

Noisy silence waits in the distance
Nothing to fear
But blood

A rhythmic pattern
That never had faded
Another chance at life
Blood

Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo

Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
LOVE MEANS BLOOD

One Day I'll Learn How To Fly...

2008-11-29T16:18:00.004-05:00

"Then I saw a girl with the most beautiful hair.
She had it wrapped around herself for clothes she did not wear."

La Vie

2008-11-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

Life is a closed clothes closet.
The beginning had it empty.
Again, it’s empty now.

I saw nothing there. nothing left for me.

I needed to be clothed.
More. More. More.

Clothes were my addiction.
More. More. More.

Money all gone, no place to live, bare feet on the floor
But More. More. More.

I filled the void encircling me with
More. More. More.

And my reflection one day told me
Clothes meant nothing at all.
So I threw them all away.

I started over.

Numb

2008-11-27T23:11:00.000-05:00

Feeling that have gone away are never coming back
The genius words of worthless lyrics
Nothing unfinished

Of a light and a darkness that will mix all the same
I feel nothing
I hate this state

I want a purpose
I need a purpose

I’ll turn my cheek; I’ll look the other way
I don’t need this shit anymore

I’m sick of a life
Of harmful loneliness

I wouldn’t mind it if it wasn’t so empty
How ‘bout a meaningful mind?
When the people all around me
Are rocks on the shore
I search for myself

Adrenaline keeps me going
Depression keeps me down
Fill the void, entertain me
Spill my thought with ink

Caged Bird by Maya Angelou

2008-11-27T18:04:00.000-05:00

Just a poem i like by Maya Angelou i saw the other day:

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Heartbeats

2008-11-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

I sleep with one eye open
Should I live with both eyes closed?
A forbidden pasture running
Through the eyes of ghastly souls

These lines are here for nothing
Because I see the world fly by
Into darkness, darkness, darkness
Truth in a land of lies

Heap the hill of insanity
Dug into my skin
Look to a place of freedom
Over the tall, brick, wall.

A thin line goes between
Normal and insane
With a burden comes a message
Just gibberish, just gibberish

And the quiet people running
For it is they who underlie
But the silence they will bring
Will stop the evolution

Bright lights in a world of darkness
Is it we and we alone?
I know the heart is out there
Find me. Find me. Find me.

Reach out beyond the wilderness
Into the hands of I
Freedom lies within the vacancy
What is a soul?

Bum

2008-11-25T23:11:00.000-05:00

This night will be remembered with no importance at all
Never remembered as the night of my fall
When she was not by my side
No where to confide
Creep through my vains
Down. Down. Down.

Clock bells strike midnight
Funeral proceedings
Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum.
The end of my needing

Lights in the sky
Most likely a lie
Not a new thing for me
To be, to be, to be

Long night go crazy into mornings of doom
The world is spinning fast. Fast. FAST.
Freeze me in time
Fine dine of ghost

Give me nothing
And I’ll be satisfied
Gifts I don’t receive
Faces denied

I look to ceiling
I look to the wall
I look to the floor
With no importance at all.

Something New

2008-11-24T23:11:00.000-05:00

As the cold world sleeps a feeling of hardship
It washes over me, washes over me, oh.
Like a cloud could swallow the sky, I fell off the slide.

I wanna slip away, completely unnoticed
No recollections of the unforgiving past
I could light some candles
Maybe this’ll be the last

A line of cars none of the real
I imagine it all
Symmetrical to the future
Feels like last fall

And as October flies by
The real question comes to mind
Lie down by my side
Will it be you that I find?

Why do they all have to lie?
Why do they do exactly what you die for?
Stick another post-it to the wall
I guess I want more.

I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I think I want you to know me.

Cookies

2008-11-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

They come in the night
Through withered dark spaces
Chain me to nothing
Hold me back from tomorrow
36 reasons
Not to live anymore
And only two reasons against it:
These words and cookie dough
Shadowy figures can stand up against me
But never may they be real
Disconnected from the outside world
Sweep me off my feet
Bedside tables counting twelve
Ethan’s brand new job
And two plus two might equal four
But four minus four is always nothing
Nothing is anything
But I am everything
So pack your bags
And say goodbye
‘Cause this is my world
And it’s all that I have left

Her

2008-11-22T23:11:00.000-05:00

Snap me in half.
Toss me and turn.
I’ll bow at your feet.
I’ll feel your burn.
I’ll be your rock.
I’ll be your island.

I know you can save me.
If only you’d try.
You would tell me truths.
Not whisper me lies…

Unconcious

2008-11-21T23:11:00.000-05:00

WEAK PEOPLE
I’m not afraid to watch the tide
What you see is what you get
I THOUGHT
But eyes can be deceiving
That what people just don’t get

I like to think, like to have a mind, of my own
I won’t walk on with society
As, a, whole
Why the fuck would you say what you think if its nothing at all?
I won’t live in a lie in itself
TELL ME THE TRUTH
But you don’t know what really happens out there
In the sea of fucking lies with no one listening
BUT ME
When was the last time you thought twice about talking to thee ugly girl in the corner?
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a brain of my own
Intellectually trained, to be its own self
Have opinions, in see of mindless wonder, wonder, wonder
I wonder sometimes what the world would be like
Had the founding fathers said
FUCK THIS
Fuck nothing if you care you need to figure this out
I’ve got my own life this is not what my life’s about

I’m not afraid to say KNOW to the substance that would kill me
I have a life to think about
HOW, ABOUT, YOU?
I’m not afraid to be different from the stereotypical shit
In you all trying to be different you all end
JUST, THE, SAME
You think you’re on the edge of society, fuck that
You’re right in the middle.
Everyone loves you except, your, self, self, self, self
That’s the difference you gotta fix yourself before you fix others
Cause no ones gonna care about a fucked up kid standing in the rain
It’s all a record player spinning, spinning real real fast
One day you’ll all just fall off, unless you get yourself away from the center
No one can be cool no one is okay nothing is ok badness badness badness
That’s what you say
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a heart.

Screams

2008-11-20T23:11:00.001-05:00

Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams.
He won’t feel that anymore
He has real things
Feelings inside
He knows where freedom really lies
The inside of his own self somewhere deep down
The circle of life will keep turning
He may not happy but he knows where he stands
The natural life of life of life
Ice-cold winters bring warmth in truth
Hiding under tables will always be not
Bottles and bottled silence
And the screams he hears no more
Will free him of everything
Il a la liberte.

A Letter

2008-11-20T14:44:00.001-05:00

You are the wandering fall leaves, floating on the ocean in an array of wondrous sailboats;
You are the sky above me like tears raining down;
You are the ground below me who will support me steadfast

And the leaves shall never burn;
And the skies shall never fall;
And the ground, the ground shall never, ever quake.

A New Letter

2008-11-20T14:43:00.001-05:00

She is the wandering fall leaf
Floating in the moat
In an array of wondrous sailboats

She is the sky above me
Like tears raining down
She wears a wondrous winter gown

She is the ground below me
Who will support me steadfast
A simple glance turns me aghast

She is the leaf on fire
A flame that rises high
The end of this leaf is nigh

She is the sinking sky
Crashing unto me ever so quick
The reality makes my insides sick

She is the quaking earth
Splitting through me; I am a fault
My life is coming to a halt

A Story

2008-11-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

This crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight
Through the night that it comes
Disease spreads his body
Out through his toes
Out through his nose
No food, no shelter,
No warmth to live
He lies on the bare ground
With cardboard as sheets
For this crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight

sixth commandment

2008-11-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

sixth commandment
overnight meltdowns
tears shed at dusk
melancholy whispers
tiny specs of dust

a life and a burden
unavoidable tasks
the daily routine
and people with masks

with a difference of consciousness
he understood and ran
and for this gift
he is shunned by the man

thou shalt not kill
but inside hes curled
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

no love has he felt
since quite a different time
escape his own past
or another French mime

has it really come to this
is this really the end
do i have to turn around
start all over again

because honestly id like to
maybe a change of heart would be good

and the cold world stops for no one
there’s love out there somewhere
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

Society

2008-11-17T23:11:00.000-05:00

Swallow my face into nothingness
Your shit is all the same
My saliva burns on the tip of her tongue

But you still fucking kill
And we still fucking die
For your fucking lies
That you call the American cause

Troy

2008-11-16T23:11:00.000-05:00

Four story house
Gallons of nothing
Drinking it down
Oh so fast

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing to the power of doom

Running through the purple faced crowd
Why do they all look the same?
The trenches won’t stop him
He knows where he’s going
He has no limbs

DJFKLQ9
Good luck with everything
I’ve gotta move on
Now the plan is crashing
My soul bleeds inside out
Daddy’s blunt comes to its end
“Light up another one boy”
“Fuck you”

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing over to the power of man

A quote I like...

2008-11-16T20:02:00.000-05:00

"Just love the world that won't love you back"

Faraway

2008-11-15T23:11:00.000-05:00

I wanna take a walk into the garden of hell
Say hello to the fisherman, whoa, oh!
He’ll tell me of the river flowing east from there
A Garden of Eden if forbidden to me
A look of hate across the eyes is:
All
I
Get.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Go northward to the fountain, fight the old man
Hear the church bells ringing singing whoa, oh!
And the ol’ priest’ll feed you and give you some clothes
He told me “We don’t go naked ‘round here!”
Once you the hit the village you’ve gone too far.
Take a look around. You’re done.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Lie down, close your eyes; it’s just a land of freedom.
We don’t got no worries we just dance and sing
And if a sucker comes ‘round we’ll say nothing he can come right in

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

In And Out Again

2008-11-14T23:11:00.000-05:00

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur le petit dodo

What happened to me?
I once stood so strong
The things that I once had
Are all now dear and gone

Freedom is the only escape
I need to be far
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

There goes one there goes another
My life yearns to wither away
It’s the way life seems to thrive
No one cares, I don’t matter

Who does this even concern?
Who the fuck am I even writing about?
Day-by-day they come and go
But I’ll still be here

No way no how
I have no place to go
I hate myself more than ever

Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

Midnight Words

2008-11-13T23:11:00.000-05:00

Another night I fall asleep
Pondering the thought
Of what went wrong

Scared and alone
I am a distraught calf
Lost from its mother
Never to be found

Dispare and lonliness
Flies all around here
The never ending thought of death

This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be.

(Insert Title Here)

2008-11-12T23:11:00.000-05:00

When I look into the pain
Of glass all I see
All I see staring back
Is a boy I don’t know

With a glare in his eye
An angry look on his face
He lives this cold world
Alone with himself

No one will care
No one will care
For the life and the death
Of the boy I see here

Bending over backwards
Just to see what he can find
He’ll explore the depths of loneliness
Just to waste away the time

Sometimes it doesn’t matter
Who your friends are, what they think
Because the people who have hurt
The boy I see here

A brother, a lover, a companion, a friend
I’ll show those people some day
I’ll show the world some day
What I’m all about.

freedom

2008-11-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

escape from these places
escape from these spaces
i’m sick of confinements
i wanna get free

i had an idea
of brand new beginnings
i can’t take this life
i wanna get free

screaming and crying and yelling and begging
lies and promises
i wanna get free

“make me a bird
give me wings
so I can go some place far”
i wanna get free.

This Is Not Over

2008-11-10T23:11:00.001-05:00

Through the flames I look at you
Burning me to char
You spend your life lying on the couch
While I rip my eyes from T.V. screens
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
But I can save you

The Burden

2008-11-09T23:11:00.000-05:00

The burden
The loneliness
Of which I must carry
Have left me with nothing
But the words I have here

How could she leave me?
With nothing to spare
She left me so perfectly
Perfectly wrong
I left my pure glory
In two minutes flat
The emptiness inside me
I cannot figure out

This feeling
I need someone.

Wandering Thoughts

2008-11-08T22:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder

How they keep on going

When nothing is good

And they are alone

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Well I know what it feels like

To be left in the dust

But somehow I think that every time

Forgiveness is a must

But I’m certainly realizing

It’s not always right to say

“It’s okay.”

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all.