Steps

With every step I take
The pain persists
The people around me
Are unconscious fists

The nightmares I endure
Have become real
It’s time that we
Help to heal

And I’ll never be the same
But at least the fleeting despair
Has put me through the shame
That I am ready to dare
To live

I bear the pain and the things I carry
Take it day by day
With candid response
I’ll go my own way

I’m ready to live
I’m ready to fight
I’m ready to be in the world tonight

And the distance we share
Has brought through it all
Existence
Existence
Existence
We are all still in existence.

Impossible Reality

I saw her sitting there
Breathing
In life
Her smell
Whoosh
A simple glance
I knew
Three words
Would do it
I love you

All things cease
She enters the room
Bright lights of mine
Deeper than beauty
It flows
It flows
It flows
Like a waterfall
Our conversation
I won’t confuse
Love and lust
And to abstain
The grain
I promise




You seem kind of familiar

A Painful Birth

Where were you when the lights turned out?
Where were you when the walls burned down?
Where were you when I had my doubts?
You were always out of town





And I will not see this through
I’ll never be a part of you






Is this what our fathers dreamed of?
Dedicate their lives
Is this what are mothers screamed for?
It seems the pain
Meant nothing.



Rip the joy out of my heart
Sell it for pennies



This is the decline once again
The ink sinks deep into my skin
And so I scream:

The pain goes on
But life moves on
The pain goes on
Stop.




Welcome to America.

Vacation

The ignorance is belligerent
Get me out of here.
Like being in an oven on 700 hundred degrees

Rightfully so, you’ll claim your possessions
Including my mind
I need some freedom of thought
You want me to be your sculpture

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

And if it wasn’t so hot
Things wouldn’t change
Punch myself in the face
I have no range

You need the limelight
To show me what you need
Ignorance goes beyond mankind

I had a thought of a new life
A life without strife
I had a thought of new life
Of love

But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

I cannot force down this wall
ALONE

Why am I so alone?
Why is no one here?
Where is everyone I’ve known?
There’s so much I fear

Each day is a blur
There is no bliss
At night it comes back

The killing goes on
The lying moves on
The fear will never be gone

I cannot force down this world
ALONE


But you seem to hate me
I guess I’ll hate you back
There is no heart to be
I guess I’ll get my bags packed

Chestnut Tree

I’m living in Oceania
As of now
This world all around me
Is bring me down
I can’t take this anymore
Let me go.

Big brother’s here
He’s going to help you
Big brother’s here
To chop off your head

“It was only a hopeless fancy
It passed like an April day
But a look and a word and the dreams they stirred
They have stolen my heart away”

But it’ll never be gone
The hope for a better life
Smash me down, crush me
You don’t care

No one cares.

DOWN. DOWN. DOWN. DOWN.

Tear down the walls
Let them wash me away
Into an ocean of
Thought.

“They say that time heals all things
They say you can always forget
But the smiles and the tears across the years
They twist my heart string yet.”


Under the spreading chestnut tree,
I sold you and you sold me.
Here they lie, and here lie we,
Under the spreading chestnut tree.

Gone

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you”

Farther from the past
Like nothing before
For me it’s the last
I’m sick of this

Ridicule us
Tear us apart
Burn us inside out
We’ll never stop

Out of control
You’re out of control
Out of control
Everyone is out of control.

Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control
Out of control

“I will not beat it
And tell myself it is true
I will succeed it
And never be a part of you.”

Surreality

SILENCE.

A world around me of bloodshed and tears
I want to be gone

I find myself wishing everyone were dead
I find myself wishing I could kill them
I find myself wishing people were gone
I find myself wishing I were gone

It’s all so surreal, a world inside my head
THIS IS A DREAM

A day is a year; a year is a day, a second is always a second

How can someone with so much be so alone?
How can someone with nothing be so happy?
When the world wants to end nobody hears.
Anything.

I’m on the way down a road never taken before
Never printed by a foot
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.
The damage is done.

FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. FREEDOM. FREEDOM.

With another life to live, change me.

The voices, the voices, the voices control me
I have no thoughts anymore
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.
It’s surreal. It’s a dream.

Sustain me. Powers shoot through my fingertips.

I am in a cage
With no bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.
No bars.






I’ll free me from myself.

Stars

She wanders through the garden path
Eyes closed




The wind brushes her face
Beautiful





A dreamy thought of kindness
All she wants





And as I walk after her in the garden
I understand



This is the place for me
This is where I want to be
It could just be you and me
Please.



And the flowers have bloomed once again
Spring awakens




And the sun will shine once more
Enlighten





Savor the sleep I don’t want to have
With you




Lie in the garden
And breathe



Run quick when they follow
Always get away
No one must find you














I found a star
But I wasn’t looking in the sky

Return of Love

I stood still…

A smell of strawberries.

Whiplash!

Beauty.

A flash of a girl…

I was in love.

A field of corn,

Her face…

Clenched fists I walk away,

Give,

Me,

Her.

Whirlwind.

I was swept away!

Another planet…

I’m in love

Speechless.

Flanked from behind,

I will embrace her.

No more hiding.

I will catch you,

I will catch you,

I will fall down your back,

The sun shall rise again.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Warmth.

Bend the bars and break them.

I’m here to save you.

One day I’ll learn how to fly.

I love you.

What’s your name?

Darkened Days

If nothing is something, then something is here

In my mind it’s fucking wrong
I’m trapped in the world around me
If only they’d let me out
I could be the person I aspire to be

My own self
My own real self

But the lies and rushed goodbyes
To say hello to a darkened deeply night

These words
Will fly out the window
As a remembrance to the things we lost
Along the way
Where did we go?
When were the quick goodbyes exchanged?

It’s all gone
There’s nothing left inside me
The feeling left is a void

As the snow falls from rooftops
I sing for more
I sing of a life of fulfillment
I sing of a life a definite
I sing for more
I sing of the real freedom we live

I wanna be gone
Gone from a world of hatred and death
You see me spiraling
INTO ABYSS

Morals corrupted. We accept as fact
In the end it’s all the same

In my backyard I scream for a louder life
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be
A person I aspire to be

My Contribution

Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
Aspirations are taking over
The center of my life

A need for change, a difference
From who I used to be

I was not myself
I was lost along the road

“And so I pledge so forthwith:
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change
I will change. Everything.”

FOR

HUMANITY

For people, for sky, for happiness to look for



For love.

Cages

LOVE
What do you feel? How do you think? Who do you even LOVE?
ANYONE?

A hard backed kid, nowhere to turn.
Except the hatred of others

I look at the ones you cage
I look at the ones you hide
I look at the freedom bottled up inside
THE CAGE.

I am not in a cage.
I refuse to be in a cage.
I will never, never ever be left in a cage

We are better than this. Turn it around. MEANING.

LET THE WORLD OUT
FREEDOM-HUMANITY-CONCIOUS
CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS, CONCIOUS
LOVE, love the world?
Free us all.

reality

reality

don’t take me
don’t look back at the airy space behind
there’s a heart inside
USE IT PLEASE
if you’re gone, you’re gone, you’ll always be gone
it’s a pleasure you’re not coming back

to the left are your enemies
but you’ll live through it all
i know it’s difficult to follow. follow. FOLLOW.

never lead.
a difference in the crowd is weakness.
how could you ever be a leader? crime. crime. CRIME.

i’ll tell you now:
the ocean is cleansing me

DOOM, DOOM, DOOM.
faraway in the depths of loneliness
many lists are done

this world won’t love me
but i’ll stand face
charge into the wall
and stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
please help.
please stop.
everything.

Once Friends

Scars: a reminder of a deep darkened past
Forever trapped within them
DEPLETION

Alas there’s no power in saying anything
You have been through nothing
To the all-seeing eye

But do I mean eye?
Or the letter itself
It’s what we’re all about

The soul’s been dismembered
It’s not there anymore
DISPOSITION

Reason it out because is she nothing?
She would make it better in ways
I know it.
GRIM

Grim grim grim
A cat on the street pleading for a way to get out
PLEASE

Hate for society, not what it’s about
It’s a matter of pure, utter alliance
LOYALTY ABOVE ALL

Gonners

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world




Sadly enough, I cannot say the same
I cannot say the same for them
They turned their back. Pushed me away
You’re dead to me
Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
No morals, no heart, no consideration there
I’m ashamed to say:
I hope you’re the one in the ambulance




I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world





I guess I’m done with you and your bullshit, selfish ways
It’s official:
I KNOW I’M BETTER THAN THAT

I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.
I don’t need you.
I think I hate you.

I remember the days when friends meant everything
Everything in the world


I don’t need you.
I really hate you.
I don’t need you.
At long last, I’m done.

I'm sorry.

This is my official apology to you.