Endring

Who are you?
I asked what to be
I asked him what to be

He told me, “Yourself.”

Like a splitting of the wood, I’ve been cut in half

He’s the trunk of the family tree
He’s the long standing tower that never tumbles
He’s the leader of a nation that nobody hears

Who are you?
What do you feel?
Change me.

Sang

By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood
By the power invested in me
Blood

Give me the change
That’s so long overdue
A loud wailing laughter
Of blood

Carve in the books
My original name
It comes from the earth
Blood

Far beyond reason
Yet so long I endured
Show me the pathway
Blood

Noisy silence waits in the distance
Nothing to fear
But blood

A rhythmic pattern
That never had faded
Another chance at life
Blood

Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo
Na nee na nee hoo hoo

Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
Blood blood blood blood blood blood
LOVE MEANS BLOOD

One Day I'll Learn How To Fly...

"Then I saw a girl with the most beautiful hair.
She had it wrapped around herself for clothes she did not wear."

La Vie

Life is a closed clothes closet.
The beginning had it empty.
Again, it’s empty now.

I saw nothing there. nothing left for me.

I needed to be clothed.
More. More. More.

Clothes were my addiction.
More. More. More.

Money all gone, no place to live, bare feet on the floor
But More. More. More.

I filled the void encircling me with
More. More. More.

And my reflection one day told me
Clothes meant nothing at all.
So I threw them all away.

I started over.

Numb

Feeling that have gone away are never coming back
The genius words of worthless lyrics
Nothing unfinished

Of a light and a darkness that will mix all the same
I feel nothing
I hate this state

I want a purpose
I need a purpose

I’ll turn my cheek; I’ll look the other way
I don’t need this shit anymore

I’m sick of a life
Of harmful loneliness

I wouldn’t mind it if it wasn’t so empty
How ‘bout a meaningful mind?
When the people all around me
Are rocks on the shore
I search for myself

Adrenaline keeps me going
Depression keeps me down
Fill the void, entertain me
Spill my thought with ink

Caged Bird by Maya Angelou

Just a poem i like by Maya Angelou i saw the other day:

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Heartbeats

I sleep with one eye open
Should I live with both eyes closed?
A forbidden pasture running
Through the eyes of ghastly souls

These lines are here for nothing
Because I see the world fly by
Into darkness, darkness, darkness
Truth in a land of lies

Heap the hill of insanity
Dug into my skin
Look to a place of freedom
Over the tall, brick, wall.

A thin line goes between
Normal and insane
With a burden comes a message
Just gibberish, just gibberish

And the quiet people running
For it is they who underlie
But the silence they will bring
Will stop the evolution

Bright lights in a world of darkness
Is it we and we alone?
I know the heart is out there
Find me. Find me. Find me.

Reach out beyond the wilderness
Into the hands of I
Freedom lies within the vacancy
What is a soul?

Bum

This night will be remembered with no importance at all
Never remembered as the night of my fall
When she was not by my side
No where to confide
Creep through my vains
Down. Down. Down.



Clock bells strike midnight
Funeral proceedings
Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum.
The end of my needing



Lights in the sky
Most likely a lie
Not a new thing for me
To be, to be, to be



Long night go crazy into mornings of doom
The world is spinning fast. Fast. FAST.
Freeze me in time
Fine dine of ghost



Give me nothing
And I’ll be satisfied
Gifts I don’t receive
Faces denied



I look to ceiling
I look to the wall
I look to the floor
With no importance at all.

Something New

As the cold world sleeps a feeling of hardship
It washes over me, washes over me, oh.
Like a cloud could swallow the sky, I fell off the slide.

I wanna slip away, completely unnoticed
No recollections of the unforgiving past
I could light some candles
Maybe this’ll be the last

A line of cars none of the real
I imagine it all
Symmetrical to the future
Feels like last fall

And as October flies by
The real question comes to mind
Lie down by my side
Will it be you that I find?

Why do they all have to lie?
Why do they do exactly what you die for?
Stick another post-it to the wall
I guess I want more.

I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I guess I want someone to know me
I think I want you to know me.

Cookies

They come in the night
Through withered dark spaces
Chain me to nothing
Hold me back from tomorrow
36 reasons
Not to live anymore
And only two reasons against it:
These words and cookie dough
Shadowy figures can stand up against me
But never may they be real
Disconnected from the outside world
Sweep me off my feet
Bedside tables counting twelve
Ethan’s brand new job
And two plus two might equal four
But four minus four is always nothing
Nothing is anything
But I am everything
So pack your bags
And say goodbye
‘Cause this is my world
And it’s all that I have left

Her

Snap me in half.
Toss me and turn.
I’ll bow at your feet.
I’ll feel your burn.
I’ll be your rock.
I’ll be your island.

I know you can save me.
If only you’d try.
You would tell me truths.
Not whisper me lies…

Unconcious

WEAK PEOPLE
I’m not afraid to watch the tide
What you see is what you get
I THOUGHT
But eyes can be deceiving
That what people just don’t get

I like to think, like to have a mind, of my own
I won’t walk on with society
As, a, whole
Why the fuck would you say what you think if its nothing at all?
I won’t live in a lie in itself
TELL ME THE TRUTH
But you don’t know what really happens out there
In the sea of fucking lies with no one listening
BUT ME
When was the last time you thought twice about talking to thee ugly girl in the corner?
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a brain of my own
Intellectually trained, to be its own self
Have opinions, in see of mindless wonder, wonder, wonder
I wonder sometimes what the world would be like
Had the founding fathers said
FUCK THIS
Fuck nothing if you care you need to figure this out
I’ve got my own life this is not what my life’s about

I’m not afraid to say KNOW to the substance that would kill me
I have a life to think about
HOW, ABOUT, YOU?
I’m not afraid to be different from the stereotypical shit
In you all trying to be different you all end
JUST, THE, SAME
You think you’re on the edge of society, fuck that
You’re right in the middle.
Everyone loves you except, your, self, self, self, self
That’s the difference you gotta fix yourself before you fix others
Cause no ones gonna care about a fucked up kid standing in the rain
It’s all a record player spinning, spinning real real fast
One day you’ll all just fall off, unless you get yourself away from the center
No one can be cool no one is okay nothing is ok badness badness badness
That’s what you say
NO MIND
NO THOUGHTS
NO FEAR
NO HEART

I have a heart.

Screams

Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams. Screams.
He won’t feel that anymore
He has real things
Feelings inside
He knows where freedom really lies
The inside of his own self somewhere deep down
The circle of life will keep turning
He may not happy but he knows where he stands
The natural life of life of life
Ice-cold winters bring warmth in truth
Hiding under tables will always be not
Bottles and bottled silence
And the screams he hears no more
Will free him of everything
Il a la liberte.

A Letter

You are the wandering fall leaves, floating on the ocean in an array of wondrous sailboats;
You are the sky above me like tears raining down;
You are the ground below me who will support me steadfast

And the leaves shall never burn;
And the skies shall never fall;
And the ground, the ground shall never, ever quake.

A New Letter

She is the wandering fall leaf
Floating in the moat
In an array of wondrous sailboats

She is the sky above me
Like tears raining down
She wears a wondrous winter gown

She is the ground below me
Who will support me steadfast
A simple glance turns me aghast

She is the leaf on fire
A flame that rises high
The end of this leaf is nigh

She is the sinking sky
Crashing unto me ever so quick
The reality makes my insides sick

She is the quaking earth
Splitting through me; I am a fault
My life is coming to a halt

A Story

This crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight
Through the night that it comes
Disease spreads his body
Out through his toes
Out through his nose
No food, no shelter,
No warmth to live
He lies on the bare ground
With cardboard as sheets
For this crestfallen soldier
Torn from his life
The woods are his mansion
He treks on to fight

sixth commandment

sixth commandment
overnight meltdowns
tears shed at dusk
melancholy whispers
tiny specs of dust

a life and a burden
unavoidable tasks
the daily routine
and people with masks

with a difference of consciousness
he understood and ran
and for this gift
he is shunned by the man

thou shalt not kill
but inside hes curled
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

no love has he felt
since quite a different time
escape his own past
or another French mime

has it really come to this
is this really the end
do i have to turn around
start all over again

because honestly id like to
maybe a change of heart would be good

and the cold world stops for no one
there’s love out there somewhere
Just An Angry Kid,
Hating The World.

Society

Swallow my face into nothingness
Your shit is all the same
My saliva burns on the tip of her tongue

But you still fucking kill
And we still fucking die
For your fucking lies
That you call the American cause

Troy

Four story house
Gallons of nothing
Drinking it down
Oh so fast

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing to the power of doom

Running through the purple faced crowd
Why do they all look the same?
The trenches won’t stop him
He knows where he’s going
He has no limbs

DJFKLQ9
Good luck with everything
I’ve gotta move on
Now the plan is crashing
My soul bleeds inside out
Daddy’s blunt comes to its end
“Light up another one boy”
“Fuck you”

The bullet in my wound
Deep within her womb
Trojan horses lying down
Bowing over to the power of man

A quote I like...

"Just love the world that won't love you back"

Faraway

I wanna take a walk into the garden of hell
Say hello to the fisherman, whoa, oh!
He’ll tell me of the river flowing east from there
A Garden of Eden if forbidden to me
A look of hate across the eyes is:
All
I
Get.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Go northward to the fountain, fight the old man
Hear the church bells ringing singing whoa, oh!
And the ol’ priest’ll feed you and give you some clothes
He told me “We don’t go naked ‘round here!”
Once you the hit the village you’ve gone too far.
Take a look around. You’re done.

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Lie down, close your eyes; it’s just a land of freedom.
We don’t got no worries we just dance and sing
And if a sucker comes ‘round we’ll say nothing he can come right in

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

Just around the bed is freedom
Just around the bend is another life
Just around the bend is freedom
But look he took another wrong turn

In And Out Again

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur le petit dodo

What happened to me?
I once stood so strong
The things that I once had
Are all now dear and gone

Freedom is the only escape
I need to be far
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

There goes one there goes another
My life yearns to wither away
It’s the way life seems to thrive
No one cares, I don’t matter

Who does this even concern?
Who the fuck am I even writing about?
Day-by-day they come and go
But I’ll still be here


No way no how
I have no place to go
I hate myself more than ever

Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside
Free me from the inside

Midnight Words

Another night I fall asleep
Pondering the thought
Of what went wrong

Scared and alone
I am a distraught calf
Lost from its mother
Never to be found

Dispare and lonliness
Flies all around here
The never ending thought of death

This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be
This is not how it was supposed to be.

(Insert Title Here)

When I look into the pain
Of glass all I see
All I see staring back
Is a boy I don’t know

With a glare in his eye
An angry look on his face
He lives this cold world
Alone with himself

No one will care
No one will care
For the life and the death
Of the boy I see here

Bending over backwards
Just to see what he can find
He’ll explore the depths of loneliness
Just to waste away the time

Sometimes it doesn’t matter
Who your friends are, what they think
Because the people who have hurt
The boy I see here

A brother, a lover, a companion, a friend
I’ll show those people some day
I’ll show the world some day
What I’m all about.

freedom

escape from these places
escape from these spaces
i’m sick of confinements
i wanna get free

i had an idea
of brand new beginnings
i can’t take this life
i wanna get free

screaming and crying and yelling and begging
lies and promises
i wanna get free

“make me a bird
give me wings
so I can go some place far”
i wanna get free.

This Is Not Over

Through the flames I look at you
Burning me to char
You spend your life lying on the couch
While I rip my eyes from T.V. screens
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
Closer to the end
Everyday you get
But I can save you

The Burden

The burden
The loneliness
Of which I must carry
Have left me with nothing
But the words I have here

How could she leave me?
With nothing to spare
She left me so perfectly
Perfectly wrong
I left my pure glory
In two minutes flat
The emptiness inside me
I cannot figure out

This feeling
I need someone.

Wandering Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder

How they keep on going

When nothing is good

And they are alone

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Well I know what it feels like

To be left in the dust

But somehow I think that every time

Forgiveness is a must

But I’m certainly realizing

It’s not always right to say

“It’s okay.”

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all?

Do they ever

Stop and cry?

Do they ever

Stop to say goodbye?

Or do they walk away

With nothing to say

And nothing to feel at all.